The world of dating has drastically changed in recent years, with the rise of technology and the widespread use of dating apps. These apps have become a popular way for people to meet potential partners, with millions of users swiping and matching every day. But what is it about these apps that make them so appealing? What is the psychology behind computerized courtship?
First, let’s take a closer look at dating apps and how they work. Most dating apps use a similar format – users create a profile with photos and a brief bio, and then swipe through potential matches based on their location and preferences. When two users match, they can start messaging each other and potentially meet in person.
One of the main reasons why dating apps have become so popular is the convenience factor. With just a few swipes, users can quickly browse through numerous potential matches, saving time and effort compared to traditional methods of dating. This ease and efficiency appeal to our desire for instant gratification and our busy lifestyles.
Additionally, the algorithm used by dating apps also plays a significant role in their success. These algorithms are designed to show users potential matches based on their preferences and behavior on the app. This personalized approach gives users a sense of control and increases the chances of finding a compatible partner. It also taps into our innate desire for predictability and the idea that there is a perfect match out there for each of us.
Another important factor in the psychology of computerized courtship is the concept of gamification. Many dating apps use game-like features, such as swiping, matching, and messaging, to make the experience more interactive and entertaining. This taps into our natural tendency to seek out pleasure and reward, making the app usage more enjoyable and addictive.
Moreover, dating apps also tap into our need for social validation. When users receive matches or messages, it can boost their self-esteem and make them feel desired. This can be especially appealing for those who struggle with low self-esteem or have a fear of rejection in traditional dating situations.
Furthermore, the convenience and anonymity provided by dating apps can also be appealing for some individuals. They may feel more comfortable expressing themselves and getting to know someone through a screen rather than in person. This can be especially true for introverted individuals or those who have social anxiety.

The Psychology Behind Computerized Courtship: Why We Love Dating Apps
But with all the benefits and convenience that dating apps offer, there are also some downsides. One of the main concerns is the potential for addiction. The constant swiping, matching, and messaging can lead to a compulsive need for validation and attention, which can have a negative impact on mental health.
Moreover, the superficial nature of dating apps can also lead to a “shopping mentality,” where users are constantly looking for the next best thing and may not take the time to truly get to know someone. This can result in a lack of commitment and shallow connections.
Another downside is the potential for deception. With the ability to create a curated and idealized version of oneself on dating apps, there is a risk of misrepresentation and catfishing. This can lead to disappointment and even dangerous situations when meeting someone in person.
Despite these concerns, dating apps continue to thrive and evolve with new features and technologies. One recent development is the rise of video dating, where users can have virtual dates through the app. This has become especially popular during the COVID-19 pandemic, where in-person dates may not be possible.
The use of video dating has also been a topic of interest for researchers studying the psychology behind computerized courtship. A recent study found that video dating can create a more intimate and authentic connection compared to traditional messaging on dating apps. This is due to the nonverbal cues and facial expressions that are present in video interactions.
In conclusion, the psychology behind computerized courtship is a complex and multifaceted topic. The convenience, personalized approach, and gamification of dating apps tap into our innate desires and needs, making them a popular way to meet potential partners. However, it’s essential to be aware of the potential downsides and risks associated with these apps and to use them mindfully. As technology continues to advance, it will be interesting to see how the world of dating evolves and impacts our relationships.
Current Event: The Rise of Video Dating During the Pandemic
Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/17/style/video-dating-apps-coronavirus.html
Summary: Dating apps have become a popular way for people to meet potential partners, and their success can be attributed to the convenience factor, algorithm, gamification, and social validation. However, there are also concerns about addiction, superficiality, and deception. With the rise of video dating during the COVID-19 pandemic, researchers have found that it can create a more intimate connection compared to traditional messaging. It will be interesting to see how technology continues to shape the world of dating and relationships.